


Sefure

by antimiya88



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-10-15 11:05:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10555260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antimiya88/pseuds/antimiya88
Summary: Sakurai Sho never expected to fall in love at first sight but it happened. His name was Nino. He tried to fight it because he knew that the other's heart belonged to someone else - even if this someone else would never return his feelings - but it turned out to be stronger; especially when the other was in so much pain. Sho wanted to help, be there for him. He knew it meant pain but knowing that Nino needed him in his life, even if it was for a few moments of passion, was all that mattered. Years passed by and Sho was still by Nino's side. But then the chance he was waiting for came... Could there be hope for him? Would Nino finally see him?





	1. Chapter 1

Title: Sefure (One-Shot)

Author: Andy-chan ([](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/profile)[ **antimiya88**](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/) )

Pairings: Sakumiya (main), Ohmiya (one-sided)

Genre: romance, angst, slice of life

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Sakurai Sho never expected to fall in love at first sight but it happened. His name was Nino. He tried to fight it because he knew that the other's heart belonged to someone else - even if this someone else would never return his feelings - but it turned out to be stronger; especially when the other was in so much pain. Sho wanted to help, be there for him. He knew it meant pain but knowing that Nino needed him in his life, even if it was for a few moments of passion, was all that mattered. Years passed by and Sho was still by Nino's side. But then the chance he was waiting for came... Could there be hope for him? Would Nino finally see him?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys, ~~unfortunately~~.

 

 

 

This one-shot is the Sakumiya's story of [Tomodachi](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/57083.html#cutid1). It can be read on its own but I would recommend you read that fic as well!

 

 

  


 

 

 

Sefure

 

Sho had just got out of the bathroom. Working as a salesman at one of the biggest chains for pc games wasn’t the easiest job, as it required standing for hours and hours while having to deal with children who would want more than their parents had agreed on buying them or older people who simply would have no idea what they should buy as presents. A hot bath always helped his headache disappear.

He went to the kitchen to prepare himself a tea. His eyes fell on the yellow mug right next to his favorite one and his heart clenched like it would always do when his eyes met with the things this particular someone liked to use whenever he stayed the night or simply passed some time at his apartment. In every corner there would be something that would make Sho feel his presence… it was supposed to make him feel warm - he was reminded of the person he loved the most - but it never happened… it only brought him pain, because Sho knew it well… even if his body was there with him, his soul and heart never did…

Sho’s friends liked to tease him for being so secretive over his boyfriend. Sho wouldn’t say anything and only smile. What could he say anyway? Agree with them? He couldn’t do that… he would lie... because the other wasn’t his boyfriend; he wasn’t his friend either. Yes… there were many of his things in Sho’s apartment; yes… he was spending some nights there, occasionally days as well, but there weren’t any feelings involved. For the other, he was only a way to forget… to not think… to make his life less painful, even if it was only for a few hours…

It wasn’t the other’s fault though. It was Sho the one who had proposed this. He knew that it would be wrong cruel for him but he wanted to be there for the man he had fallen in love whatever way this would be possible because even if he did not love him, he had proved that he needed him in his life.

Sho could see in how much pain the other was. It was written all over his face… his beautiful eyes were begging desperately for help… like the first night he had approached him… but during these small times together there would be a strange hop reflected on them; a relief… as if they were telling him an inaudible thank you. Being able to see this… the hurtful, sad gaze of his disappearing, even if it was only for a while, was more than enough for Sho because true love wasn’t about take but give…

Sho smiled bitterly as his index traced the rim of the yellow mug. He closed his eyes bringing _his_ picture in his mind. His lips curved into a smile when he imagined him holding it, always being impatient to drink but finding it too hot… he thought of the way he would bring it on his lips, curled up at the corner of the sofa with the light blue fluffy blanket thrown over his legs. It was such small moments that Sho thought the other was irresistible. Usually he would have him on the bed without any clothes on panting someone else’s name. But it was such small moments he actually had the chance to be with the real him… the clumsy, shy, sharp-tongued him…  These moments were of course rare… but perhaps that was what made them so precious to Sho… He could feel that warmth he was craving for inside… even if it was just an illusion.

The kettle started making its usual noise, taking him out of his thoughts. He poured the boiled water into his mug sighing before throwing the tea bag inside. He was sure people would call him pathetic. Being attached to a relationship that wasn’t even a real one. A tiny part of his wished the other could really see in him but no matter how hard he had tried, he hadn’t been able to reach his heart… perhaps because it already belonged to someone else. He sighed and walked quickly to the living room. He tried to ignore the small game console on the floor and turned the TV on; he used it whenever he needed something to make him forget and he was succeeding in doing so till he heard his phone ringing.

“Who would this…?” the words got stuck on his throat.

Why was the other calling him? He never called. Conversations weren’t needed in their case. A text asking if he could come to Sho’s apartment to spend the night with him was enough. Sho could feel his heart throbbing in his chest. He grabbed the phone and with a trembling hand, he pressed the answer button. He put on his usual mask on… he had to sound careless; playful; like a good sex buddy would do.

“What a surprise?! Since when do we call each other?!”

“ _You should tell him…_ ” the other’s voice sounded almost lifeless.

“What?” Sho felt his heartbeat accelerating even more. Something had happened it was clear.

“ _The one you love… you should tell him… even if he rejects you, you should tell him…_ ”

Sho closed his eyes tightly. “You did?” he asked with difficulty, not knowing what to expect or more correctly, afraid of what to expect.

“ _Yes. I was rejected – obviously – but he decided not to let me out of his life… I feel terribly but also as if a burden has been lifted up from my shoulders. So, go to him and tell him how you feel!_ ”

Sho closed his eyes tightly. He could hear the tremble, the pain in every single word spoken and he wanted to run to him, to take him into his arms, to tell him that he’s not alone but… could he really do that?

“You think so…?” Sho asked the other hesitantly.

“ _Yes, Sho_ ”

Sho was left dumbfounded ignoring the fact that the only thing he could hear now were beeps. His eyes were fixed blankly on the wooden floor, tears blurring his eyesight. Did he have the power to tell him? Did he have the right to tell him? He didn’t know… what he knew is that he wanted to make the pain disappear. He covered his eyes with his palms feeling hot tears burning his eyes.

_Nino… my love…_

***

_Nine years ago…_

 

“Today is being crazy!” Sho exclaimed exhausted as he placed the last console on the shelf for the promotions.

“Well, it’s not every day that the new version of the Harry Potter PS game is on sale!” his coworker said shrugging his shoulders while placing the promotional carton at front.

“I still can’t understand what people find so attractive in sitting in front of a screen for hours and pressing buttons!”

The other laughed but immediately put on his professional smile when he saw customers approaching him.

“Hello! We’re looking for a second game console for PlayStation!” one of them said excitedly. “Aren’t we, Oh-chan?”

Sho turned curiously to look who it was just to freeze at his spot. He saw two young men, probably a bit younger than him. They were both small figured and if he judged by the way the one was clinging on the other they were together. He wanted to avert his eyes, to focus on his job but it was in vain. They were glued on the slightly taller one. _Nino_ , if he had heard the name correctly, was probably the most beautiful man he had ever seen.

With his baby face, he almost looked like a puppy that would make anything to have his master’s attention. The moles on his chin made him even cuter. He was glowing from happiness… anybody could see it. His eyes would probably be considered small but their almond shape along with the warm, chestnut brown color of the iris, made them in Sho’s eyes captivating. But it wasn’t just that…it was the way they were shining, full of adoration and love whenever they stared at _Oh-chan’s_ face that made them alluring... breathtaking.

Sho found himself staring intensely, his heart beating faster than usual, wishing that he would be the one stared at like that, as he saw them coming closer to see the available options. There was something loving about this man… something fresh. Sho’s lips curved into a smile… He was never lucky with the men he fell in love with. They would do whatever they could to get him in their bed and then they would leave. He had never felt how it is to feel warm inside… to feel loved.

He had tried to convince himself that true love didn’t exist but hadn’t succeeded so far. And now there was this Nino, who would grab his partner’s arm, would let his head rest on his shoulder, would even press his lips softly on the other’s cheeks without caring whether the other customers looked at them strangely or not. The whole picture was adorably cute and made him realize that true love did exist, even if it was rare… even if it wasn’t meant for him. It was obvious that this Nino was a man capable to give, probably because he was loving the other genuinely.

_I wish I had met him earlier… or… someone like him…_

Sho could see that the other was feeling a bit shy with all these small expressions of love but not even once did he push Nino away. It was obvious that their feelings were strong, real. _You are one lucky man…_ he thought with a sad smile. He couldn’t count how many minutes had passed by when he heard his supervisor calling out his name in a warning tone. He immediately bowed, mumbling an apology and hurried to continue his task. It was a few minutes later that he dared to throw one more glance to the couple a few meters away.

To his surprise, _Oh-chan_ was standing a bit closer to him while Nino’s face had turned gloomy… almost pale. Sho frowned. _What could have…?_

“Hika-chan! Yes, baby… I’m with Nino! He was insisting we should buy a second console game for bestie’s nights, as he called them! Ok… I’ll call you later! Bye!”

Sho was left with his mouth half-opened, dumbfounded.

“Your girlfriend is too jealous, Oh-chan! Where did she think you were, now?” Nino whined in a teasing way but Sho could feel the trace of jealousy underneath, despite the almost perfect acting skills.

“I had forgotten to tell her that we would buy the console today… you know how I am…” the other said scratching his nape. “And she wasn’t _jealous_!”

“Yeah, right…” Nino replied turning his face away.

Sho gasped when their eyes met for a moment, his heart was now racing in his chest… It felt as if all air had left his lungs, his throat being completely dry. Nino’s stare was between surprise and… was that… shame? His eyes had the slightest trace of tears that quickly blinked away. Sho lowered his, knowing that the other was right. He had chosen to keep his feelings secret and no one had the right to criticize or invade… especially when he was nothing more than a complete stranger.

“Sirs, I have left it at the cash desk. You can proceed with this number” Sho’s coworker said as he came closer making Sho sigh in relief. For some reason, he could feel so much intensity in the air that made it almost unbearable for him. He dared to raise his gaze again just to be met with narrowed, warning eyes before they turned to the other, finding some of their previous glow back.

“Come on, Oh-chan! Let’s get this and then go to grab a hamburger! I’m hungry!” Nino said and grabbed the other’s arm, dragging him to the cashier area.

“That was one interesting couple, don’t you think?” Sho’s co-worker commented amused as he came to help him at the promos shelves.

Sho only nodded his heart clenching painfully as his eyes followed the just mentioned couple leaving the store, unable to leave Nino out of sight. All he could think of was the pain in his eyes when the other had spoken with his girlfriend. He didn’t know why this man would so selfishly fill up his mind. He couldn’t explain it. It had been years since he had felt his heart beating this intensely in his chest but he was sure about one thing; such beautiful eyes didn’t deserve such pain… any kind of pain…

“Why do you do that to yourself?” Sho mumbled before he could control himself, his eyes still on the floor even if the other was nowhere to be seen.

“What?” his co-worker asked him with a frown.

“Eh?!” Sho shook his head, smiling. “Nothing!” he said and sighed relieved when he saw a father with his son approaching him. He had to focus back to his work. “How can I help you, Sir?”

***

It had been three days since Nino had come to the store and Sho still couldn’t take him out of his mind. He had tried out everything… reading his favorite book, watching TV; in vain. The other would still occupy his mind, his eyes staring at him but not with anger… only with sadness. He sighed as he rubbed his forehead. He had once liked someone who never returned his feelings. It had been years ago, he had almost forgotten about his existence if it wasn’t for Nino. Was it perhaps that the reason? _No… It can’t be…_ he thought frowning. It had been difficult, that was certain, but it could never be compared to what he had witnessed a few days ago. The pain that was reflected in Nino’s eyes when his friend answered the call couldn’t be described with words. It was a sight that even at the thought of it broke Sho’s heart into pieces…

Sho brought his knees close to him, resting his chin on his knees as he brought his gaze up to the cloudy sky. It was his day off and had gone to his friend’s apartment to have lunch and hang out a bit since the latter’s boyfriend was out of town in a business trip.

“Sho, what have you been thinking about and you’re this gloomy?” his best friend, Toma, asked teasingly. “I mean you always are but this time more than ever! You didn’t even finish your pasta! And we all know how much you love pasta!”

Sho only smiled, moving a bit on the armchair he sitting on, so that he could look at the other better. “I decided to start a diet!”

“Yeah right… and I’m a monk! C’mon, tell me! Is it a guy?” the other asked enthusiastically. “Do I know him?”

“I won’t say anything, Toma! And please don’t start with your usual monologue because you won’t get any answer!” Sho said in a teasing tone but a small pinch pierced his heart. Even if he wanted to say something what could he? It wasn’t that there _really_ was someone…

“Oh… c’mon, Sho!” the other insisted without succeeding. “Always stubborn!”

Sho laughed, trying to hide the bitterness that came out along. _If something’s stubborn in me that’s my mind which insists on making unnecessary thoughts…_ He stood up going to the door. “That’s my talent!”

“You’re leaving already?! But I’m bored… C’mon! Yamapi won’t be here till tomorrow!”

“I don’t intend to pass all my afternoon with you sulking over your boyfriend and how much you miss him… Besides, I want to go for jogging!”

“In such weather?”

“Yes, in such weather!” Sho insisted.

“But it will get dark soon and the chances for rain are high…”

“Thanks for worrying for my health but I assure you I’m not made of sugar!”

“Fine, but don’t forget! Tomorrow we will all meet for drinks! You have promised us!”

Sho sighed while nodding his head. “We will! Don’t worry! Bye!”

“Bye, Sho!”

Sho hurried to his apartment and changed into his favorite workout sweatpants with a matching parka on top. It had been a while since he had felt the need to run but now he needed it. He needed to clear his mind. No matter what he did, it went back to Nino and that sadness in his eyes. He couldn’t handle this… Why was he so obsessed over someone he had seen only once in his life? He was certainly over the age of falling romantically in love at first sight. _What am I even thinking?!_ Determined to fight whatever was going on inside him, he took his earphones and left his apartment.

He chose to go to the nearest park where it was unlikely to meet many people at this hour. The last thing he wanted at the moment was small meaningless chit-chats with neighbors and acquaintances. He raised the volume of his earphones isolating himself from the rest of the world and started running in a slow yet steady rhythm. Little by little, he felt better, his mind freeing itself from those insisting, troubling thoughts, so he continued until he had emptied it completely. Luckily it hadn’t rained, making it easier for him.

It took some time for him to realize that the street lights were on, indicating that he had already been running for more than an hour. Cursing he stopped, took his earphones off before placing his hands on his waist to catch his breath. _Damn… My muscles will definitely feel cramped tomorrow and I have the morning shift…_ Sighing, he made some stretching exercises before starting walking back home. As he was heading to the park exit, he heard something that sounded like a muffled cry a few meters away. Curious, he looked closer, his eyes bulging when he saw a familiar figure sitting on one of the benches.

His throat got dry not wanting to believe that the object of the thoughts he was so desperately trying to get rid of, was in front of him, looking more broken than ever. His knees were brought up to his body, his chin resting on them while sipping beer. Sho could see two empty cans on the ground close to him. _He must have been drinking for a while..._ There were heavy tears running down his face, staining it, making Sho feel the urge to go and wipe them away. He impulsively made a step forwards, his hand stretched out to… touch him?  He couldn’t do it… he was warned to stay away; he was nothing but a stranger to the other. He stopped, his eyesight blurry because of the tears _he_ was shedding.

Defeated, he lowered his head closing his eyes tightly. The pain the other felt had somehow become his pain. There was no doubt… he had fallen in love… deeper than he had ever been in his life. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him till he reached his apartment. He threw his clothes scattered on the floor as he made his way to the shower. He let the hot water fall on his head, his hand clenched into a fist landing with force on the tiles. He would always fall in love with the wrong guys; either they would turn out to be jerks or they would prove to already belong to someone else.

_Why should it always be like that? Why damn it… Why?_

***

“Finally! You decided to show up!” Toma exclaimed happily, his hand never leaving his boyfriend’s waist. “C’mon, my friend has being waiting for us inside!”

Sho narrowed his eyes. “I hope you don’t plan to match me with anyone, _again…_ ” Seeing the way his friend’s face turned pale for a few seconds he knew this had been the case. “Toma…”

“No… Just a friend… I swear!”

“Why do I not believe you?!” Sho said rather sarcastically and walked to the doors of the club, followed by his two friends. They went to the bar stool, taking their usual seats at its end.

“Ikuta-kun!” someone called from behind and Sho turned around with a raised eyebrow. In front of him there was standing a man, most probably, in his early thirties and quite handsome, if he wanted to be honest.

“Yamada-kun!” Toma said with a wide smile. “Come… this is my boyfriend, Yamashita Tomohisa and this is our friend I told you about, Sakurai Sho!” he continued avoiding the stare he had been receiving from the latter. “This is Yamada Taisuke. We are co-workers! We’ve been in the same section for six months now!”

“Nice to meet you!” Yamada said politely with a smile but Sho limited himself to a small nod before turning to the bar tender to order a drink. He knew he was probably doing a mistake but couldn’t help it… his mind was elsewhere and certainly not in the mood for flirtation.

A couple of hours had passed by and Toma was already on Yamapi’s lap, kissing him hungrily without even caring to pay attention to anyone around him.

Sho sighed shaking his head knowing that it was a matter of time before they left for their apartment. It had always been like that. He cleared his throat as he turned his attention to Yamada who was sitting next to him. He looked at the other closer. He was indeed handsome with full lips and big, round eyes but no matter how much he tried to stay focused, his mind would always fly back to _him_ … he wondered how he was… if he was ok… he sipped some more  of his drink pretending to listen to Yamada. _Did he cry again? Does he feel lonely?_

“…Don’t you agree?”

Sho frowned smiling sheepishly, biting his lower lip for having get caught not paying attention to whatever Yamada was speaking about all this time.

“Am I this boring?” Yamada asked sighing defeated. “Sorry…” he mumbled scratching his nape.

“No…” Sho said with difficulty. “It’s just that-” he didn’t have the opportunity to finish his words as he was pushed as someone, obviously drunk made his way to someone sitting a few seats away. He was ready to curse when he realized how drunk the other was.

“Hey, cutie! _hic_ Never saw you here… Do you want _hic_ me to show you what it is to have a good _hic_ time?”

Sho smirked. It was always like that… Everyone died to have the first timers, even the completely wasted ones. He was expecting to hear either swearing or slutty words of acceptance, depending on what the newbie was looking for but was quite surprised when all that reached his ears were loud laughs. At first, he thought his mind was playing him cruel games. _It must be because I haven’t stopped thinking about him… Stupid mind games!_ Smirking, he brought his glass to his lips but then he heard the same laugh again, louder than before.

Sho froze. _I can’t be dreaming…_ he turned on his right and scanned through the crowd, his eyes bulging when he finally spotted him. He couldn’t believe that _he_ was actually there. Why would he always appear in front of him? What kind of tasteless, cruel joke was that?

Sho couldn’t help but let his tongue brush his lower, dry lip as his eyes loved on the slim silhouette. Nino was wearing a pair of skinny greyish jeans with a dark blue V-neck shirt, his hair messy… He was undoubtedly sexy but Sho could see it… something about it was off. This time his eyes weren’t sad… they were unfocused… empty… It was obvious that he wanted to forget…

_Something must have happened…_ Sho thought and gulped as he saw more men approaching Nino. The latter, though, would only smirk and order more one-shots.

After a while, probably once the alcohol had the wanted effect in his body, Nino made his way to the dancefloor and Sho knew that it was now or never. He would never let anyone take advantage of him… He wouldn’t let him taste more pain than he already had. Forgetting about his friends, that were nowhere to be seen and Yamada, to whom he had already been a jerk, he stood up from his seat after finishing his drink in one go and walked slowly to the dancefloor, his eyes locked on the other’s small figure. He came closer until he was right behind him, his hands wrapping around his waist.

“Hey you…” he said in a low, seductive tone, knowing that this was what the other needed at the moment. Nino turned around slowly, letting his eyes move freely on him. Sho felt his heart beating so fast that it was almost painful in his chest. He could tell that the other didn’t recognize him – why would he? – but in the same time appreciated what he saw. His eyes had lost all their spark, the one that had emerged when he was looking at _Oh-chan_. There was no trace of life in them… no feeling… only lust… desperation to forget about everything and everyone.

“Hey you, too…” Sho heard him replying in a similar tone as he pressed his slim body firmly against him. He bit his lower lip, closing his eyes. He was only asking for warmth… attention… caresses…

“I’m Sho…” he whispered in Nino’s ear before letting his tongue tease Nino’s earlobe, playing along. He could feel him shiver under his touch and no matter how much he wanted to only hug him and keep him in his arms, his lips placing feather-like, reassuring kisses on his forehead, he was determined to be the one the other wanted him to be that night.

“Nino…”

Sho felt tears in his eyes, as he felt the desperate way Nino’s small fingers were gripping his shirt on his back, but tried to stop them before they came to surface. They wouldn’t serve in anything. “Nice to meet you, Nino…” he managed to say with a small tremble that he was sure the other wouldn’t realize in his state. He rotated his hips making their crotches rub against each other to create friction. It wasn’t only Nino that needed to stop thinking; it was also himself…

They started dancing… Song by song, Nino would be bolder with him… Sho followed his lead, locking any disturbing thoughts of his away. This night belonged to _him_. He let his hands roam on the smaller man’s back, torso, arms… everywhere… he wanted to show to him what it felt to have someone desire you, want you to feel treasured, loved. The soft moans that were reaching his ears were enough to make him reply to them. His hands went up and buried themselves in the soft hair grabbing it with enough force to make the other look straight at his eyes. They were dark… lustful… mesmerizing…

Sho crushed their lips together, thrusting his tongue in Nino’s mouth. He could taste the alcohol the other had been consuming but tried not to focus on that. He sucked Nino’s tongue hungrily as he felt thin hips moving against him. It felt amazing… feeling the warmth the other’s body was emitting, made him hotter, insatiable. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss even more, desiring to hear louder moans escaping from the other’s throat. He wanted to feel him melt in his arms… Selfishly he wanted to make him think no one else but him… even if it was only for this moment.

His hips were moving more intensely as he broke the kiss, letting his tongue touch a sweat drop that was running down Nino’s cheek. The small whine that the latter left made him smirk before he leaned closer his lips brushing the other’s earlobe.

“Toilets?”

Nino only moaned, tightening his grip on his shirt even more. Sho didn’t need to be told twice he grabbed his wrist and made their way to them, throwing him in the last empty cubicle. Nino looked woozy because of the drunkenness and arousal in the same time. Sho didn’t let him the choice to think. He pushed him against the locked door, his hands raising the shirt he was wearing, immediately exploring the hot, sweaty skin. The way that it was responding to the slightest of his touch was enough to make his member painfully hard. He wanted the other so much.

His fingers moved up and down softly, caressing the silk-like skin, enjoying the way Nino had closed his eyes, his head thrown behind, his mouth agape. He could tell that the latter hadn’t been with a lot of lovers, if not with any at all. He started spreading butterfly kisses from the neck, slowly going lower, letting himself taste the other the way he had only dreamt to. He reached the nipples, his thumbs toying feather-like with the sensitive tips.

“You like that…” he whispered in a husky voice before he let his tongue swirl around each one of them.

Nino was trying to muffle his screams of pleasure, making Sho chuckle, as he came up taking the already bruised lower lip of the other between his teeth, nibbling it.

“Don’t be silent… let yourself feel… everything…” he whispered as his hands travelled lower to open the fly of the jeans.

He wasn’t surprised to find Nino’s briefs already wet with precum. He looked straight inside his eyes, darkened as they were, and lowered his hands wrapping them firmly around it. It felt heavy and hot under his touch.

“Feel…” he whispered again and started pumping it in a slow rhythm without averting his eyes. He could see the torn gaze of the other between guilt and pleasure…

_Feel how much I’m in love with you… Feel how you always should…_

He continued for a while before lowering himself, letting his tongue brush over the glittering from precum slit. He sucked a couple of times before going back kissing and sucking passionately the collarbones. He knew that the other was close… he pressed his hips to create friction between them while masturbating the leaking erection fast with his hand and causing Nino to come hard, his whole body trembling from the intensity.

He continued to kiss him until he heard the other asking him to fuck him. Nino was panting but to Sho it was clear… thousands of thoughts were passing through his mind.

 “Are you sure you want this with _me_?” he was afraid of the answer… but he had to ask… he had to be sure that it was what Nino wanted. He had seen him crying and for nothing in the world, wanted to ever become the reason for it. Probably the other would regret it the next day but at that moment he needed to be sure.

 “Yes… because _he_ will never want to do it…” the voice was weak, making Sho bite his lower lip not to let any unnecessary word escape from his mouth.

“Taken?” he asked as he attached his mouth on the exposed skin right under Nino’s collarbones.

“No… friend…” Nino replied with difficulty and jumped up in the air wrapping his legs around Sho’s waist. “Now, please… hurry up! I want you!”

Sho growled at the sensation. In a fast move he lowered his pants and after a small preparation he entered the other slowly. He used all the power he had to go slowly, so that the other was getting all the pleasure possible and no pain; not even the slightest bit.  Once he was fully inside, his balls resting against Nino’s buttocks, he stopped giving the time to the other to adjust to his size. He gasped at the tightness.

It felt good, so good that all he wanted was to start moving fast, satisfying the ache in his body but he refused to become a jerk. It wasn’t about him… it was about Nino. More than his own pleasure, Sho craved for Nino’s… he wanted to witness the bliss… he wanted to give him everything he could. They might be in a dirty cubicle of the club but he wasn’t going to fuck him… he was going to make love to him, even like this. Seeing the small frown that had appeared on Nino’s forehead, Sho leaned closer giving small, reassuring kisses.

_I’m right here, baby… I’m right here…_

“Relax…” he whispered before pecking the half opened lips.

Nino looked at him with a question. Sho only smiled rotating his hips wanting the other to feel comfortable. They exchanged no words… it was as if they were speaking with their eyes. Nino tightened his grip around Sho’s nape bringing their lips together when Sho finally started moving inside him. The thrusts were slow, getting faster and harder with the time. Sho rotated his hips and thrusted up again burying his erection deeper in Nino enjoying the way the latter’s nails marked his back. He was lost in the sensations when he felt something hot falling on his left arm. It was only then that he realized he had closed his eyes while the other was crying.

“Stop thinking…” he mumbled as he kissed the tears that were staining on Nino’s cheeks away.

He never let his gaze elsewhere. Minutes later they were both coming, their bodies trembling due to the shuddering orgasms. Sho helped him get dressed. He could see the shadow in his eyes but chose to say nothing. What could he anyway?

“Are you ok?” he managed to mutter after he had finished getting dressed, even if it was other words that were stuck at the tip of his mouth.

“Yes… don’t worry…” Nino’s voice was barely audible.

_You’re not ok…_ Sho thought bitterly but nevertheless managed to put on a small smile as he brushed his hand through the hair. “I’m glad…” he was debating with himself whether he should do it or not… but seeing him like this… he couldn’t bear it.

Before Nino could go away, Sho grabbed his wrist and led him to the bar, thankful to find neither his friends nor Yamada waiting for him. He asked the bar tender for a pen and ignoring the questioning glare of the other, he wrote his number on his hand.

“If you ever feel lonely, give me a call! Bye!” he said trying to sound as carefree as possible and left after a playful wink.

He needed fresh air. He stepped outside the club, his eyes turning to the dark sky. He didn’t know if he had done the right thing… probably he had just done the biggest mistake in his life. He knew that a part of him, even if it was a small one, had done it selfishly because wanted to feel the other. He could still shiver at the thought of how Nino’s body had felt under his touch… He leaned against the nearest wall and lit a cigarette to help him put his thoughts in order.

He had never been this confused in his life; never felt this torn between satisfaction and guilt. He shook his head as he brought the cigarette with a trembling hand back to his mouth. _Why did I give him my number? Even if he remembers what happened in the morning there’s no way he’d agree to meet with me again… I was nothing but a nameless fuck…_

It was right then that Nino passed by him running as if he was chased down and climbed in the first taxi waiting at the corner, getting lost in the darkness as the car moved in the empty road.

From his hasty movements, Sho had his answer. He threw his half-smoked cigarette on the street, tears blurring his eyesight.

_I guess it was the wrong thing to do in the end…_

***

Sho fell on his bed, not caring if droplets would fall on it from his still wet hair. He couldn’t believe in his eyes as he read the text he had just received.

From : 0876352874  
Hey… Three weeks ago you gave me   
your number telling me to call you if  
I ever felt lonely… Well… I do…  
Could we meet? I would like to see   
you again.  
Nino

With trembling hands he started pressing a reply.

To : 0876352874  
Hey Nino! I thought you had forgotten about me!  
Of course we can meet! Where?

The reply came in seconds.

From : 0876352874  
I don’t know… A hotel maybe?

Sho took a deep breath feeling stupid. What did he expect? To be asked on a date? He was simply Sho; a Sho who had fucked him in a toilet cubicle of a club in Shinjuku.

To: 0876352874  
How about my apartment?   
We will have more fun and no extra costs. 

Once again the reply was immediate.

From : 0876352874  
Send me your address.  
I’m coming over!

He typed it fast, still finding it hard to believe what he had actually agreed to. Nino had actually texted him. In the past three weeks he had felt a mix of relief and disappointment. A part of him wanted to meet with Nino again… but if he did, wouldn’t that mean that the other would be sad? He didn’t want to think about that… It hurt… And now they would meet… they would have sex… and then a simple bye was enough until their next meet-up. Did he really want that? He sighed burying his face in his hands. He wasn’t so sure anymore…

His eyes went to his phone screen again, staring at it blankly. _He needs you… Even if it’s just for sex… he still needs you… That’s all that matters!_

 

He chose a pair of buggy jeans and a black V-neck shirt. He looked at himself in the mirror, laughing bitterly. Why did he even care about his looks? He most probably wouldn’t keep them on for too long after Nino’s arrival.

Sighing he went to the living room to make sure it looked decent. He knew he didn’t have to but he was nervous… too nervous. This wasn’t him… This had never been him… yet he had been the one to start the whole story. He shook his head as he put the book he had been reading earlier that day back on the bookcase. Unnecessary thoughts and doubts had no place at the moment.

Fifteen minutes later, he heard the bell ringing. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the door to reveal a smirking Nino. The latter tilted his head with a wide smile that Sho knew it was fake.

“Hello, Sho!”

Sho smiled without saying anything and moved aside to let the other enter.

“Nice!” Nino said as he looked around once he had taken off his shoes.

“Would you like a drink? I have both beer and wine or perhaps you prefer something non alcohol-” Sho didn’t have the chance to finish his question as two hot lips were pressed against his.

“We both know why I’m here, so why not start with it already?” Nino said huskily throwing himself on the taller man with so much force that made him almost stumble backwards.

Sho didn’t say anything else. He stared at him for a couple of seconds before crushing their lips together again. This time it was him who had the control and he did it with eagerness, desperation. Nino was right… why should they pretend something else when the conditions were already known to both of them? In one fast move he lifted Nino up in the air, his hands holding him by the thighs, and led him to his bedroom. The other immediately wrapped his legs around his waist, making their crotches rub against each other. The move was small, hesitant but enough to make Sho lose his mind. Before Nino could say a single word again, he was thrown onto the bed, his clothes thrown on the floor in a small mass. Seconds later, Sho pressed his body on top of the other, attacking him greedily.

He knew he was being almost brutal… nothing in his caresses had softness but couldn’t help it.  He was angry; angry with himself… angry with this Oh-chan that was causing so much pain to the man he had fallen in love with… angry with Nino that had thrown himself this desperately on him… angry because he had him and in the same time would never have…

He needed to forget… he needed to stop thinking... he needed to learn to be satisfied with what was offered to him and not crave for more… The kisses, the caresses, the sucks, the licks were insatiable… mirroring the stream of emotions in his soul. He could feel the other panting, his whole body trembling, his back arching, his cries desperate to feel more.

And Sho gave it to him, forcing his hips into the tight hall hard, fast, making sure the tip of his member hit his prostate, enjoying listening to the other screaming louder, speaking incomprehensive words huskier, moaning shamelessly… Sho looked at his beautiful eyes being closed tightly, his face showing the pleasure he was feeling. He kept moving, anger having subsided… he wanted to see more, to listen more, he was almost smiling seeing the flush in the younger man’s cheeks… he looked so beautiful like that… and it was because of him… he felt his heart bursting from happiness, forgetting everything else when he heard it.

“Sa… to… shi… hnn…”

He almost froze but the nails that were still buried on his back along with the warmness around his erection made it impossible for him to stop. He kept thrusting while pumping Nino’s licking erection fast. He wanted to bring them both over the edge quickly not knowing how for how long he could control himself. He saw the way the slim body underneath him arched in a beautiful bow but brought only more pain. He was glad that Nino had his eyes closed; this way he wouldn’t need another lie to explain why his eyes were filled with tears…

Nino was lying on his back, panting heavily. Sho wanted to take the sweaty tuft of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes away but he knew he couldn’t. He wasn’t Satoshi. He fell on his back next to him trying to regulate his breath.

“Sorry…” he heard a whisper.

Sho closed his eyes taking a deep breath. “Don’t worry, baby… I didn’t take it personally!” he whispered.

“But I…” Nino tried to speak again. Sho could recognize the guilt despite its weakness.

“No big deal!” Sho said, hoping he sounded as if it was really no big deal. He sat up on the bed, taking a cigarette from his bedside table. It wasn’t that he wanted to smoke… it was more like a defense measure, not to betray his nervousness. Several minutes had passed by, the room in total silence. He turned his head to the one next to him, a bitter smile appearing on his face when he realized that he had fallen asleep.

Sighing deeply, he let the cigarette on the ashtray and took the crumpled sheets from the end of the bed to cover Nino’s naked body. He looked so peaceful like that. Sho smiled, his hand reaching for that tuft. He placed it carefully behind the other’s ear before leaning closer pressing his lips, feather-like, on his forehead.

“I will be whoever and whatever you want me to be during these moments…” he whispered before tiptoeing out of the room. “Even…” a knot appeared on his throat “this… Satoshi of yours…”

He put his briefs and pair of jeans back on and went to the living room where the lights were still on. He didn’t know how he was supposed to behave… Was he supposed to play it cool? Ask the other to stay? Simply say nothing? He was trying to find the right answer when his eyes fell on Nino’s jacket left on the floor. With a sigh, he picked it up to put it on the sofa when he saw a small photo half-fallen from its inner pocket.

He knew it was none of his business but curiosity won him over. With a trembling hand he took it, realizing that it was a photo from Nino’s high-school graduation. There were two taller boys on his left and then there was Nino hugging his _Oh-chan_ from behind. Sho’s fingers came to brush on his smiling face…

_You’re so beautiful when you smile…_

His thoughts were disturbed by slow steps and a shaky voice.

“I’m in love with him from the moment I met him. It’s been three years… three years… And do you know the funniest thing? He’s…” a small pause followed “straight… he has a girlfriend… pathetic, aren’t I?”

Sho let the photo on the small table in front of the sofa before walking to the other hugging him tightly, holding him there.

“You’re not… being in love is never pathetic… it cannot be pathetic!” Sho whispered.

Nino laughed nervously. “But I am… I’m an even worse than pathetic sex-friend… I’m sure you didn’t expect that when you suggested we meet again…”

The words pierced through Sho’s heart like a knife but didn’t show it.

“Your screams from earlier showed that you were rather a talented one… not afraid to show me how much pleasure you felt…”

“Even if I called someone else’s name?”

Sho sighed but grabbed Nino’s chin, making their eyes meet. “It was _me_ that made you scream like that… it’s _my_ back that has your marks… it’s your torso that has _mine_ …” in one fast move he turned him around, pressing his crotch on Nino’s buttocks, gaining a gasp “it’s _me_ that makes your body tremble right now…”

“Sho, please… make me scream… beg… make me forget… please…”

“I promise you I will…” and with that turned him around once again before shoving him against the wall right behind them.

It hurt… a lot… he couldn’t lie but the plea in Nino’s voice was more important than himself. The other needed him somehow in his life and Sho had decided to be there for him; whenever and however the other wanted him to… always…


	2. Sefure (One-Shot)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakurai Sho never expected to fall in love at first sight but it happened. His name was Nino. He tried to fight it because he knew that the other's heart belonged to someone else - even if this someone else would never return his feelings - but it turned out to be stronger; especially when the other was in so much pain. Sho wanted to help, be there for him. He knew it meant pain but knowing that Nino needed him in his life, even if it was for a few moments of passion, was all that mattered. Years passed by and Sho was still by Nino's side. But then the chance he was waiting for came... Could there be hope for him? Would Nino finally see him?

Title: Sefure (One-Shot)

Author: Andy-chan ([](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/profile)[ **antimiya88**](http://antimiya88.livejournal.com/) )

Pairings: Sakumiya (main), Ohmiya (one-sided)

Genre: romance, angst, slice of life

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Sakurai Sho never expected to fall in love at first sight but it happened. His name was Nino. He tried to fight it because he knew that the other's heart belonged to someone else - even if this someone else would never return his feelings - but it turned out to be stronger; especially when the other was in so much pain. Sho wanted to help, be there for him. He knew it meant pain but knowing that Nino needed him in his life, even if it was for a few moments of passion, was all that mattered. Years passed by and Sho was still by Nino's side. But then the chance he was waiting for came... Could there be hope for him? Would Nino finally see him?

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the boys, ~~unfortunately~~.

 

 

  


 

 

 

  


  
_Six years ago…_   


“You’ve drained me…” Nino whispered breathless as he collapsed on Sho’s naked, covered in sweat torso, his head resting on the crook of his neck.  
  
“It’s not my fault that you’re this sexy…” Sho said in a small voice, kissing the top of Nino’s head softly tightening his hug around his slim, sweaty waist. “Keeping you like that in my arms… it feels so perfect that I want us to remain like that forever…” every words was spoken in a whisper but the smile was large, Sho’s lips ghosting on the other’s hair, breathing in his scent.  
  
“Sho…” Nino whispered and moved away with a sigh.  
  
It was only then that Sho realized how he had behaved… what he had said...  how he had said it… He knew the other hated these small shows of affection… he knew it well but sometimes he couldn’t control himself. He wanted to keep him in his arms… he wanted them to cuddle together in the bed, talk about their dreams or even say nothing, just looking at the night stars together was enough. He wanted to feel the small body by his side but he would always be reminded; this was what _he_ wanted… not Nino…  
  
“I told you to stop doing such things… Why try to… make things complicated?” his voice was tiny, guilt was there too; as if he somehow he wanted but couldn’t give. “Such kisses and hugs are different; they require feelings and that’s not the case, Sho. We have agreed, right? Please, don’t make it hard for me… please…”  
  
Sho turned his head the other way. He didn’t want Nino to see the tears that were threatening to run down his cheeks. He took a deep breath before he gave a small laugh. “After such a hungry blowjob and such a sexy view of you riding my cock, your body literally dancing on me, wasn’t so easy for me to control myself! It was meant as a simple thank you! You shouldn’t be this worried… things were always clear between us!” and with that got off the bed, not caring to put anything back on and headed to the bathroom.  
  
He knew that they weren’t lovers; they were sex friends. In this type of relationship there wasn’t a place for such small things like cuddles, hugs, kisses… These were for those who loved each other and Nino didn’t love him… Why was it so hard for him to remember? He let the warm water fall on him, tears running freely down on his face. He must have already get used to the feeling… it had been years… yet it had proved to be difficult, way too difficult. There would always be those moments… those small moments that he forgot… that he thought he saw something more in the other’s eyes. Perhaps it was just his mind playing games with him… making him see what he wished for when in reality it was only an illusion.  
  
 _Why can’t I accept things as they are? Why do I keep wanting him… all of him?_  
  
“Sho…” he heard suddenly the other whispering, his hands wrapping around his waist. Sho hadn’t realized when he had sneaked into the bathroom. “I didn’t want to-”  
  
Sho turned around, glad that the water was falling with force on him hiding his tears. “It’s ok!” he let his thumb caress the other’s cheek, reaching down his lips. “Consider it part of the afterglow! It’s only logical! It was a _good_ fuck!”  
  
Sho was watching the other closely. Nino’s eyes had fallen lower staring at his torso blankly. A frown was visible on his forehead… as if he was disturbed by Sho’s words. Sho felt his heart stopping for a second. Was that… disappointment?  
  
“Nino…?”  
  
Nino continued being in the same daze till he shook his head fast and laughed loud. “You’re right… Tonight it was indeed great… It has been a while since we did it three times in a row!” he brought his hands on Sho’s nape caressing softly its base. “But please… don’t confuse me like that… We’re having so much fun together… I was afraid we would spoil it and I really don’t want that! I don’t want to lose you, Sho!”  
  
Sho gulped. Of course he wouldn’t… “You won’t lose me, Nino… You’re the best I’ve ever been with!”  
  
Sho was sure he saw the other frowning again, even if it was for a mere second. “If you seek for compliments mister, you won’t have them! I warn you!”  
  
Sho hugged the other shoving him against the wet tiles. “I don’t need them… the way you screamed loud earlier was more than enough!”  
  
Nino said nothing; he only laughed, this time heartedly.  
  
“Wash my back?” Nino said tilting his head on one side.  
  
“Only if you stay for the night…” Sho whispered, his lips only a few inches away from Nino’s. “I wouldn’t mind an additional round in the early morning…” he added fast, not wanting to make things awkward between them once again.  
  
“Whatever Sho wants!”  
  
 _Sho wants you to make you happy…_ Sho thought sadly as he grabbed the sponge.  
  
Half an hour later, they were back to the bed. Nino was wearing his boxers with one of Sho’s T-shirts on top. Sho wanted to tell him that he had never looked more beautiful than he did at the moment but couldn’t. He wasn’t his boyfriend… just his _sex_ friend.  
  
“I’m so sleepy…” he heard Nino whispering muffling a yawn.  
  
“Sleep then…” Sho whispered back as he turned the lights off.  
  
“Good night, Sho”  
  
Sho smiled. “Good night…”  
  
A couple of minutes later, Sho could already Nino’s soft snore. He had always found it cute. He rested his weight on his elbow, watching the other sleeping. He was so peaceful like this… he looked like an angel. Hesitantly he brought his free hand to brush Nino’s hair softly before leaning closer. He could feel his hot, steady breath landing on his skin, making his heart jump around. Biting his lower lip, he leaned more till he pressed his lips on the other’s soft ones carefully not to wake him up.  
  
“Have sweet dreams, Kazu…” It was only at such moments that he dared to call Nino by his first name. “I love you…”  
  
“Lo…ve y… too…”  
  
“Kazu?” Sho thought his heart would break. Had he heard him? And if he had, what…?  
  
“S…tosh…”  
  
Sho bit his lower lip to muffle a sob. _Of course it would be him… What was I even thinking?!_  
  
He stood up and went to the living room, not switching the lights on. He had thought that as the years went on he would find it easier but he was wrong… the more he got to know the other, the more he would fall for him… He knew that he should push him away but the need to see him was stronger…  
  
“Why can’t you see me, Kazu? I would give you everything… everything…”  
  
~.~.~  
  
“Hey… sleepy head! Time to wake up!”  
  
Sho frowned. He opened his eyes with difficulty. He realized he was still on the sofa but covered with a blanket.  
  
“I thought you had plans to wake me up sexily...” Nino whined with a playful pout. “And you weren’t even in the bed!”  
  
Sho rubbed his eyes as he sat up. “I…” what could he say? He hushed lowering his head.  
  
“Did something happen?” this time Nino’s voice sounded serious. “I knew something was off…”  
  
“Just some things at work… no big deal… really…”  
  
Nino looked at him without saying anything. Sho gulped feeling the other’s eyes trying to see through him.  
  
“I really don’t know anything about you…”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
Nino smiled bitterly. “Work… hobbies…”  
  
“You know one!” Sho said playfully making the other laugh. “And isn’t that what sex friends are supposed to be? Know everything about their partners’ bodies but almost nothing about their minds and souls?!”  
  
“Well, yes… but I don’t like seeing you like this…” Nino mumbled, his gaze on his lap.  
  
“Are you implying that you care about me?”  
  
“Well, I… kind of… do…” Nino whispered hesitantly. “I mean… We’ve known each other for a few years now…”  
  
“Yes… but we are neither lovers, nor friends…” Sho tried to sound normal. Why would they even be having this conversation? He couldn’t understand the other. Last night he had made sure he remembered the fine balance between them and some hours later he had decided to turn everything upside down?! “If something was wrong with me last night then it was contagious! What happened, Nino?”  
  
“I… I guess I didn’t wake up properly! Someone had made a promise and didn’t keep it!”  
  
Sho wanted to ask him why his voice was trembling, why he was avoiding his eyes but didn’t in the end. He was afraid… afraid of being disappointed once again. It would only raise false hopes just to be crushed the next minute. Instead of that he brought the other on his lap.  
  
“Then I guess this someone has to make it up to you!” Sho mumbled and attacked Nino’s neck.  
  
“Shoooo…”  
  
***  
  
 _Five years ago…_  
  
  
“A console?”  
  
Nino only winked as he placed the game console on the floor, next to the TV. “I can always play a game or two between our breaks!”  
  
“You…”  
  
“It’s the small price you have to pay for being this insatiable with me… Lately, I end up spending a _lot_ of hours here!”  
  
It was the truth. As the years passed by, Nino would come uninvited more often. They had never really talked about it. Sho didn’t dare to ask why, the same way he didn’t ask the reason why Nino would always come to his house. Probably, he wanted him out of his surroundings… he didn’t belong to his life… he was a secret… He liked seeing Nino around though. Sometimes he would put things at the wrong place just to provoke him, sometimes he would call him a geek and comment on how many books he had, sometimes he would prepare them dinner accusing him of being incompetent as a cook… As time passed there would be small moments that didn’t have to do with sex. They were rare but definitely welcomed.  
  
Sho kneeled next to the other. “You realize this is _my_ house!”  
  
“Stop being a baby!”  
  
“How about a game?” Sho challenged his luck. “If you win, I’ll let you have it here! Deal?”  
  
Nino didn’t need much time to be convinced. “Deal!”  
  
They sat on the floor. Sho would throw small glimpses on the smaller man. He was biting the tip of his tongue, his mouth half opened, his eyes narrowed. He looked so cute, focused like this. He didn’t care about the game. He wanted to lose. He wanted to have the opportunity to see the other yell at the screen, curse when he wasn’t fast enough, exclaim happily when he earned bonus lives.  
  
“Wow, Sho! You were pretty much useless at this kind of game!”  
  
Sho put the controller on the floor turning to the other. “Do you want to see how useless I am at _another_ kind of game?”  
  
Nino was giggling and showed no resistance when he was pushed on his back right there on the floor.  
  
“I guess I could-” he didn’t have the chance to finish his words. His phone started ringing. “Just a moment…” he whispered as he reached his jacket.  
  
Sho didn’t need to be told who it was. It was all written on Nino’s face.  
  
“Yes? Oh-chan? What happened?”  
  
Sho smiled bitterly lowering his head. He would always sound differently whenever he would speak to Ohno Satoshi.  
  
“No… no you didn’t disturb me! You never disturb me!” he said without the slightest hesitation making Sho gasp. There was a frown on his forehead as he kept walking up and down in the living room. “I’m coming right now!” and with that ended the call.  
  
Sho felt a knot at his throat as he saw the other having put his shoes already.  
  
“I have to go… He broke up… he’s a mess…” he mumbled not even turning to look at him.  
  
“You don’t have to explain… Go…” Sho replied to him with a shaky voice.  
  
“I’ll text you” Nino mumbled and left.  
  
Sho was left at the same spot staring at the closed door. _He will always come first… always…_  
  
***  
  
 _Four years ago…_  
  
  
“ _We will be waiting for you!_ ”  
  
Sho sighed. “I told you I want to be with my boyfriend alone!”  
  
“ _You always want to be alone… Why so secretive, Sho?_ ”  
  
“I’m not secretive, I’m romantic!”  
  
He heard his friend sighing. “ _Fine… but if he changes his mind, come! Okada would be delighted to see you!_ ”  
  
“We’ll see, Toma. I have to get ready!”  
  
Sho threw his phone on the small table in front of him. It was Christmas Eve. He should be celebrating it with his friends but didn’t feel like it. If they knew the truth they would call him pathetic. Sho knew they would have been right but couldn’t help it. He wanted to be alone… Self-pity himself… cry… stare at the wall… It was always such days that he felt gloomier and lonelier than ever and he wanted to feel it, all of it.  
  
He had had a quick shower and was already enjoying his third beer when he heard his phone vibrating.  
  
“What now?” he picked it up, his eyes bulging. It was _him_.  
  
From: **Nino**  
Hey… Would I be too desperate if I   
asked your company tonight?  
  
 _Kazu…_ His fingers moved fast.  
  
To: **Nino**  
Hey… No… You would be Santa bringing  
me one hell of a present!  
  
He knew he might have sounded desperate but he guessed that was something they both shared that night.  
  
It was only some minutes later when he heard the bell.   
  
“Who is it?”  
  
“ _Santa!_ ” he heard the other replying in a playful way.  
  
He opened the door not caring to put a shirt on and pulled Nino inside, crushing their bodies together.  
  
“Wow! That’s fast!”   
  
Sho only smirked as he led him to his bedroom and threw him on the bed. A moan escaped from Nino’s throat as he sucked hungrily his neck, his body resting on the other’s slimmer one. “More…” Nino said huskily and Sho didn’t let him unsatisfied. He knew Nino needed him to forget and in a strange way, he also needed him…Those moments he was lost in passion and lust were the ones that his mind turned blank, feeling the pleasure they found together.  
  
“Could I have a cigarette?”  
  
Sho raised his eyebrow but nevertheless gave one to him.   
  
“That’s unusual of you…” he mumbled as he offered to light it up.  
  
“It’s a special day…” Nino mumbled looking at the wall across the wall.  
  
“Is it?” Sho asked before he could control himself as he lit up a cigarette himself.  
  
“It is…” Nino mumbled, his hand searching for Sho’s. “It’s Christmas…”  
  
Sho sighed before blowing smoke but didn’t push Nino’s away. Instead he took a hold of it, their fingers intertwined.  
  
“Somehow I feel myself when I’m with you…” Nino mumbled in a whisper, avoiding to look at the other.  
  
Sho smiled but said nothing. “You want to tell me what happened?”  
  
“I think tonight he met the one…” Nino’s voice cracked as he spoke the words.  
  
Sho sighed. He took both cigarettes and placed them on the ashtray, taking the other in his arms. He could feel him tremble, as his hands came to grip him in a desperate way. He didn’t say anything, he just held him there, stroking his back softly, placing feather-like kisses on the top of his head. This time the other didn’t complain about being too affectionate… too intimate… he would glue even more, needing to feel his warmth.  
  
“I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you in my life, Sho…” he whispered as more tears run down his tears, ending on Sho’s torso.  
  
Sho felt like crying himself but he had to be strong for him. He needed him…  
  
“I’m right here… I don’t go anywhere…” he whispered his mouth ghosting on Nino’s sweaty hair.  
  
They remained like that till Nino had fallen asleep. Sho held him tighter… this time letting his emotions free. “I will always be here for you, my love…” he whispered in a broken voice. “Always…”  
  
When Sho woke up he found Nino still being in his arms only that this time his eyes were open, looking at him with a hint of smile. “Good morning, Sho. Merry Christmas!”   
  
Before Sho could say anything he felt a small peck on his lips. “Why don’t you have a quick shower and then come and meet me in the kitchen? I have prepared us breakfast!”  
  
“But…”  
  
“No confusions!” the other said smiling as he sat up, still holding Sho’s hand. “I told you… it’s a special day!”  
  
Sho did as told. Ten minutes later he was entering in the kitchen to find a large plate of pancakes and coffee waiting for him on the table.  
  
“Nino?”  
  
“Come!” the other said as he pushed him down on the chair. “Eat before they get cold!”   
  
In the hours that followed, they found themselves sitting on the sofa watching random variety shows. Sho usually found them boring but not this time. This time he would laugh with the comedian’s jokes… he would even hum the Christmas songs playing.   
  
“Would you believe me if I told you that I am happy?” Nino asked out of the blue, his eyes still on the TV. Sho was caught by surprise. “Somehow I’m glad I felt this desperate last night… It’s been years since I spent Christmas without mourning over my life…” he continued chuckling.  
  
“I do…” Sho mumbled tightening his grip around the slim waist pressing Nino’s back more firmly against him. “Because strangely I feel happy myself!”  
  
Nino placed his hand on top of Sho’s ones around him. “I guess I was lucky I met you that night in the club…”  
  
Sho pressed his lips on the other’s cheek. It was such moments that confirmed to him that all the pain he felt inside was worth it.   
  
“I guess… I was lucky myself!”  
  
***  
  
 _A year ago…_  
  
  
“It’s him…” Sho mumbled as he sat back on the bed holding two cups of coffee. He saw Nino turning his eyes back on the phone. There was a photo of three couples having a small spring on their backs saying that they were all missing him. Sho could recognize them. They were the same he had seen on that older photo from graduation.  
  
“Yes… They are in an onsen, Chiba… We had been there almost ten years ago…”  
  
“Ah… Here’s your coffee!” Sho said trying to sound normal not asking anything else.   
  
Nino had never said many things and he didn’t want to push him. There were moments that they would come closer but somehow they would always end up in the way they had started. They would always come back to the same start point.  
  
“Thanks…” Nino mumbled as he placed his phone back on the bedside table. “Sho, can I ask you something, if I’m not too discreet?”  
  
“Sure!”   
  
“Why do you keep meeting with me?”  
  
Sho felt his heart beating painfully against his ribs. “Because I’m not stupid to miss hot sex?!” he managed to say jokingly.  
  
Nino laughed. “No… what I meant is why you choose to have meaningless sex? Haven’t you found anyone?”  
  
Sho stiffened and was sure that Nino had taken notice. It was the first time that Nino had asked him such a question.  
  
“Let’s say that we are in a similar case…” he whispered defeated, his eyes closing.  
  
“Friend?”  
  
Sho smiled bitterly listening to Nino’s whispered question. “No… taken…” his voice tiny.  
  
“Sorry…”   
  
“We’re pathetic, aren’t we?!” Sho said turning his gaze on his lap.  
  
“No… we’re just in love…”   
  
Sho turned around and looked at him, their eyes locking together. He wanted to tell him… he wanted him to know… but in the same time he didn’t want to lose him. He loved him too much to take such a risk.  
  
“It’s cruel…” Nino whispered again. “But in the same time, it’s also beautiful… loving someone means you have a heart to give and giving something as important as this without asking for anything in return, even if it causes you pain and tears, is what makes it so precious… so beautiful. I could see it, you know… those small moments that your mind would go to this special someone. I could see the warmth, the love… but I wasn’t sure. Now, I am…”  
  
“Nino…” Sho didn’t know what to say.  
  
“And I feel lucky…”  
  
“Why?” Sho asked, his heart thumbing in his chest.  
  
“Because despite loving someone else, you have chosen to give a small part of you to me; the same way I give a small part of me to you…”  
  
“I’m happy to give it to you… Believe me…” he whispered with tears in his eyes that didn’t care to cover this time.  
  
Nino smiled. He put their mugs on the bedside table and brushed them with his thumbs away.  
  
“I believe you… because I realized a while ago that I’m happy too… I really am, Sho…”  
  
“Nino…” Sho growled and attacked the other’s lips lustfully. He could feel him smiling but replying the kiss with the same eagerness.   
  
“Make me love to me…” Nino pleaded as he wrapped his legs around Sho’s waist.  
  
“With pleasure…”  
  
***  
  
 _Present day…_  
  
  
Sho saw Nino’s pale face welcoming in as he opened the door.  
  
“May I come in?”  
  
“Sure…” Nino said as he made him way to enter in his apartment. It was the first time in all the years they knew each other that he had gone there. He could see the surprise in Nino’s eyes when he saw that underneath the coat he was wearing his pair of black sweatpants with their matching jacket on top.   
  
“I could handle it tonight…”  
  
Sho looked at him rather perplexed for a second before he nodded in realization. “I didn’t come here for that, Nino…”  
  
“Oh… Then, what…?”  
  
“You told me I should confess to the one I love even though I’d be rejected…” Sho mumbled nervously but in the same time determined to finally say it.  
  
“Yes…” Nino whispered sounding confused.  
  
“That’s what I came to do…” Sho said, his eyes locked on Nino’s questioning ones.  
  
It took some seconds but it was then that Sho was sure Nino had finally realized what he meant. He saw him gasping as he made a few steps backwards.  
  
“I am in love with you, Ninomiya Kazunari” Sho felt oxygen leaving his lungs as he started speaking but it was now or never. Nino had to know. “For nine whole years… Since I saw you coming to the shop I’m working. You had come with him, Ohno Satoshi, to buy the second console for PlayStation. Something in your laugh, in your voice caught my attention. I was sure you were a couple but when I heard him talking on his phone, I realized that you weren’t…   
  
I had tasted in the past what a crush over a straight guy could mean but you seemed deeply in love. You’d somehow never leave my mind… You would always be there, occupying my thoughts… my heart… I was confused and then I saw you crying at the park with empty cans of beer around you, more broken than ever… And I knew I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I had fallen in love with you… Love at first sight… unexpected but it happened and then I accidentally saw you in the club… I figured out that something must have happened… Before I knew it, I had already approached you not wishing you came across more pain than the one you were already in. The rest… well… you know…”   
  
“You… you mean you kept having sex with me… hearing me calling out… _his_ name when you…”  
  
“If it was the only way I could be with you, then yes…” Sho said in a trembling voice. “It was hurting me but you’d still come to me… You proved in a way that you needed me…” his eyes had turned red bit not for a second did they stop staring at him… trying to tell him everything he felt inside… telling him that they only wanted to look at him… telling him that he was more important than his own life…   
  
He wished he knew what Nino was thinking. He needed him… so he could only gasp when he felt the other’s small hand reaching for his cheek. “You make me feel safe…” Nino whispered without even realizing. “I do need you, Sho…”  
  
“Nino…?” Sho couldn’t believe in his ears.  
  
Before he could realize what was happening, his hand was held, leading him to the inner rooms without another word spoken. A white door was opened revealing a double bed.  
  
“Nino, are you sure? You… you have told me that you don’t like to bring someone in your bedroom…” Sho wanted to believe. He somehow could see the plea to make him feel loved and to make him love him back but was still afraid… afraid that it was just because of the rejection… just another defense…  
  
“Hmm… I have but only the ones who are not worth it…” Nino said as he sat on the bed looking at him. “I would like to try for someone like you, Sho…”  
  
“Nino… you… mean it?” Sho’s voice cracked.  
  
Nino smiled feeling his eyes getting teary as he nodded. “Yes…” he took Sho’s hand bringing him closer. “Make love to me…”  
  
“Nino…”  
  
“Kazu…” Nino whispered as he brought their lips closer. “Call me, Kazu…”  
  
This time Sho had nothing to hide… He could spread kisses everywhere… he could call him Kazu… he could tell him ‘I love you’... This time he would show everything he had kept hidden inside… He would show his lover how much he cared for him, how much he treasured him, how much he had to give to him… unconditionally…  
  
“I love you… I love you so much, my Kazu…” he whispered as he kept their fingers intertwined, their bodies moving together as they were coming closer and closer to the end.  
  
“Sho… Sho…” Nino hadn’t said the three words. But he had only called _his_ name. He would look at _his_ eyes… this time he was there for _him_ , only him…  
  
They both came in soundless gasps. Sho looked at the flushed face of Nino with a smile. “I love you…”  
  
Nino smiled back. “I really… care for you, Sho…I guess it’s been a really long time since I first did but…”   
  
“Kazu…”  
  
“You are the only man with whom I have ever slept and despite the guilt I felt at first, I had caught myself several times thinking that I was lucky… like I told you before… You always made me smile… So please… please, make me say these three words as well…” he brought his hand on Sho’s cheek, caressing it feather-like. “I really want to say them to you…”  
  
Sho pressed a small kiss on Nino’s forehead, making sure their eyes were locked together. “I know you care… I knew you did. But don’t worry, my love. I will make sure your wish come true because believe me… there’s nothing I want more than hearing you say these three words!”  
  
***  
  
Nino woke up with a frown. _What is this smell? Is something burning?_ He opened his eyes panicked. Hurriedly he put his briefs on and ran out of his room. Had he forgotten the stove open? He froze at the doorframe when he saw Sho cursing under his breath as he placed a black mess on a plate. It was obvious that he hadn’t taken notice of him and Nino found himself smiling. He looked surprisingly cute like this.  
  
Tiptoeing he went closer to the other and wrapped his arms around the taller man. “Do you plan on making me saying the three words by making my kitchen a mess and by giving me burned food as breakfast?” his tone was teasing.  
  
Sho tensed. “Kazu… I…”  
  
Nino turned him around, throwing his hands around his neck. “Why don’t we leave everything as it is and go out?” He could see the surprised look at the other’s eyes and leaned closer. “We’ve known each other for nine years, yet we have never been out together… apart from that club I mean…”  
  
“Because we weren’t meant to do that…” Sho replied, with sadness.  
  
Nino cleared his throat, as he thought about the past. It hurt him. It was Satoshi who had finally told him the words he had always been afraid to hear, putting a painful ending to his years of one-sided love… the feelings were still there… his heart was still aching… but nevertheless Satoshi was someone he could no longer cling on. He could finally admit that this chapter of his life should finish.   
  
And then it was Sho… a man who had always been by his side but had never really seen… or, if he wanted to be honest with himself, he might have seen but stubbornly never gave him a chance. He had _decided_ not to see him. The moments of doubt had occasionally been there. He had caught himself seeing his sleeping posture with a smile… sometimes he had found himself urging to caress his hair but never did.   
  
He was confused… How much did he care about Sho? Since when? Could there be a sunray of hope for him? Could he really come to love him?   
  
His eyes fell on his silhouette. He was undoubtedly a very handsome man, objectively more handsome than Satoshi. He bit his lower lip at the thought of the older man. _Satoshi…_ he shook himself. No… from now on it should only be Sho… the name he had cried out so loud last night and surprisingly had liked the way it sounded. Last night he had felt complete when he expected to feel half… empty… Probably because this man loved him this much. Probably because he was still there for him despite the way he had treated him even without knowing all these years. How selfish had he been?   
  
The times he had left him right after sex because Satoshi had called weren’t few. He would justify it only because they were nothing more than sex friends. But he knew that the reason why he never dared to look at him lied elsewhere. Deep inside he was afraid he might see something he didn’t wish to. And now that he had him in his hands, he regretted it. Satoshi had hurt him but there was nothing he could do… There were facts that couldn’t change but in Sho’s case he was worse… way worse. He knew it no matter how many times the other would have reassured him since last night. That also made his heart hurt and doubt whether he could really be where he was at the moment…   
  
“Stop thinking…” Sho’s whispering voice reached his ears.  
  
Nino looked at the eyes that pierced through his soul. “I’m sorry…”  
  
“Idiot… you don’t have to be sorry… you were just turned down by the man you’ve been in love for more than ten years and still are…” Nino tried to speak but was hushed by Sho’s index. “I know that you are and probably a part of yours will always be… but I will fight to earn my place in your heart… I know that you care… that’s all that matters to me… I have a reason to fight for…”  
  
“But Sho… I’ve been such a jerk to you… Such a selfish, despicable jerk!”  
  
Nino was brought into a tight hug, his head resting on Sho’s chest, hearing the powerful beats of his heart. “You haven’t! You were clear with me… It was me that had decided to keep my feelings a secret… It wasn’t your fault! You didn’t force me to fall in love with you… it just happened! And even when I cried, the moments you would leave me to go to him, when I was alone, it was _my_ decision!”  
  
“Why do you always have to say things to make me look as if I have made no mistakes… as if I’m perfect?”  
  
“Because you are...” Sho whispered.  
  
“I’m not…”  
  
“You are to me…” Sho whispered again and pecked the tip of Nino’s nose. “So, is your proposal to go out together still on?” he added to change the subject of the conversation. He could see that there were tens and tens of different thoughts and emotions in Nino’s mind and heart at the moment and he wanted him to stop torturing himself like that.  
  
Nino remained silent for a couple of seconds before he finally smiled. “Of course it is… I can’t eat _that_ …” he pointed at the plate. “I will end up in the hospital!”  
  
“And we don’t want that!” Sho said huskily, causing Nino to laugh.  
  
“No, we certainly don’t want that!” Nino freed himself from Sho’s hug, his eyes moving on him from head to toe as he spoke again “I would told you to borrow my clothes but I’m sure they will be small for you…”  
  
Sho laughed. “Why don’t you get ready before we go together to my house so that I can get ready as well and then leave from there?” he checked his watch before landing a small kiss on Nino’s lips. “We have to hurry if we want to add breakfast to today’s program!”  
  
Nino smiled. “It does sound like someone has made his plans…”  
  
“It does because he has!”  
  
“When did you have the time to prepare for it?”  
  
“I had nine years to prepare for it, Kazu…” Nino gulped, his smile disappearing. “No more guilt and cries. Go and become sexy for me… I’m waiting!” Sho said and pecked his lips.  
  
Nino nodded and went to his bedroom. He saw the messy bed before turning his head back to the half-closed door. What had he done to deserve such a man?  
  
***  
  
Sho couldn’t be happier when he saw Nino’s face when he realized that they were leaving Tokyo behind them.   
  
“Where exactly are you planning to take us? We haven’t been out together but I thought that Shibuya would make a great choice!”  
  
Sho laughed. “I want our first date to be special and I really plan it to be one!” he threw a small glimpse to the one next to him through the car mirror smiling fondly when he saw the slight blush on his cheeks.  
  
“You’re so cute, Kazu…” he mumbled before he could control himself.  
  
“Are you going to compliment me like this all the time now?” Nino said embarrassed.  
  
“I’ve always been complimenting you. Before I did it only when you were sleeping…”  
  
Nino said nothing in return this time. He only turned his eyes outside, enjoying the changing scenery.  
  
“Here we are!” Sho exclaimed enthusiastically as he pulled the car aside.  
  
“Yokohama?!”  
  
Sho pouted. “What?! I love Yokohama!”  
  
“I didn’t say anything! Where we go first?”  
  
Sho said nothing. He took a hold of his hand, intertwined their fingers. “First…”  
  
“Sho, are you out of your mind?! We’re not in Ni-chome here!”  
  
“So?! I can’t hold my precious boyfriend by his hand on our first date?!” Sho said shrugging carelessly before starting walking towards the river.  
  
“A river cruise?”  
  
“Yes!” Sho said with a wide smile. “Come! It’s the best season!”  
  
They sat at the back. It was indeed beautiful. The sakura trees were creating a natural canopy above their heads. Nino relaxed after a while and let his head fall on Sho’s shoulder. It was a different feeling of when he let it rest on Satoshi’s one; he had more trouble to keep it on place since they were really low but he somehow liked it… because this time a mouth would ghost on his hair and a deep voice would told him how much he loved him in his ear. He felt loved… treasured. They wandered around the city where Nino found out how much Sho loved reading; there wouldn’t be a monument or building of importance that he wouldn’t know about. They went to the Ferris-Wheel where he discovered that the older man was suffering from fear of heights.   
  
During this whole time, there were some moments that his mind would fly back to the man who would never love him back but then he would be kissed, hugged, told how beautiful he was… Sho would be there for him; the very moment he needed him the most.  
  
~.~.~  
  
As the time passed by, he got to know that Sho had a great taste of humor. He discovered how much he loved music, he was even writing lyrics. So many sides… the more he was discovering, the more fascinating he found him… the more time they passed together, the more he realized that he wanted even more. After one month he was practically living in Sho’s apartment. Things had never been better. They had spent most of their free time speaking of everything they felt, they feared, they hoped. There was no place for lies or questions. They knew that they had to go either for the absolute or for nothing.  
  
***  
  
Sho looked at the table. Everything was in its place. He knew he had made his friends cook for him but he wanted it to feel homey. He was wearing the black trousers he knew how much Nino loved with a black long-sleeved shirt on top and his favorite D&G cologne. Tonight he had to be perfect.  
  
He heard the doorbell. _You can do it, Sho!_  
  
With a deep breath, he opened the door revealing a breathtaking Nino. He was wearing a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a grey shirt matched with a dark blue jacket on top.   
  
“Kazu, God… you look amazing…”  
  
The other came closer and pecked his lips. “You too… so much that I don’t know what to do… Attack you right now or admire you in them?”  
  
Sho smiled as he let him inside. He was looking at his face with agony. Would he find it too much? Would he perhaps laugh?  
  
“Sho, what… have you done here?”  
  
“What?! It’s a simple dinner…”  
  
“Yeah, simple dinners have candles and the finest china and expensive wine and…”  
  
“Do you think I’ve overdone it?” Sho asked worried, hugging Nino from behind and placing his chin on the other’s right shoulder. “I just wanted it to be special…”  
  
“I kind of figured it out since you specifically told me to wear the nicest clothes I have…” Nino said jokingly but Sho was sure there was no trace of negativity in his voice. “Why is it so special?” the other continued as he turned so that he could see him.  
  
Sho was staring right into his beautiful eyes. “Your eyes are so beautiful… this hazel color of them… this perfect shape… I think it was the first thing that attracted me to you… And now that I see them every day I realize that I fall for them even more… I love it when I see them in the morning… still sleepy but with that sparkle that can only be found in them… It’s not as strong as I have seen it being in the past but it gets stronger day by day and that’s all that matters to me…”  
  
Nino had tears in his eyes. “Sho, what are y-”  
  
“Even now that I see them wet from tears, my heart jumps funnily in my chest. Because I know that these tears are not tears of sadness but tears of joy… And I know that more than everything I want to look at them every day… I want to wake up and find them there, staring back at me… I want to be the first one they meet…”  
  
Nino’s chin was trembling. “Sho…”  
  
“Move in with me, Kazu…”  
  
“But…”  
  
“In the past, I used to look at your things and get depressed… feel lonely… Nowadays, I smile… I smile and when I close my eyes your image comes alive. I don’t want to do that anymore… I just want to be with you as much as possible! It may be my selfishness but I can’t help it!”  
  
“You…? Selfish?” Nino jumped in the air, locking his legs around Sho’s waist. “How can I deserve you? Really?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“How can I deserve you?”  
  
Sho’s hopes raised. “You accept?”  
  
“Of course I do! I didn’t need candles… Even without them it would have been yes…”  
  
“I needed them…” Sho said as he took him to the table and placed him on his seat. “Because I wanted to have a romantic night with my lover!”   
  
“Night?” Nino asked without letting Sho go. “You mean if I walk into the bedroom I will meet rose petals?”   
  
Sho kneeled in front of him, his gaze locked on Nino’s face. “I didn’t take it _so_ far… but I assure you the most relaxing bath awaits you…”  
  
“Thank you, Sho…” Nino said hugging him tightly.  
  
Sho hugged him back with a sigh. _I’ll make you say the three words one day, Kazu…  I swear I will…_  
  
***  
   
Sho was holding his boyfriend’s hand tightly as he rang the bell.  
  
“ _Coming!_ ” a voice from inside was heard.  
  
“They’re pretty cool, you’ll see!” he reassured the other who only nodded.  
  
They were living together for two and a half months now and Sho would never miss the chance to surprise him. A simple date at the movies, a dinner at Nino’s favorite hamburger restaurant, a small present… he would do anything to capture the other’s heart. They hadn’t spoken of Satoshi all this time. Nino didn’t want to and Sho had no reason not to respect his wish. But he could see it… that sparkle in his eyes that he so loved was there longer… stronger than before. The other would smile heartedly…   
  
He hadn’t told him ‘I love you’ yet but Sho could see small things that made him hope. If he was up late because of work, the other would wait for him, even if he was dead tired on the sofa. He would wake up earlier when he had the morning shift so that they could always have breakfast together. They would sleep close to each other every night. He would snuggled close to him, seeking for his warmth, even when he was sleeping deeply… They were small things but made Sho hope.  
  
And now they were standing in front of the door of Toma and Yamapi’s apartment. Nino wanted to get to know all of him. He wanted to meet his friends. When he had heard him he didn’t want to believe him… he was afraid with his behavior might have pushed the other more than he was ready to give or do… but Nino had hushed him with a passionate kiss, reassuring him that he really wanted it; he really wanted to be a part of Sho’s life.  
  
“Sho, welc-” Toma’s eyes bulged. “OH MY GOD! You… you finally brought him! Come inside! Come, come!” he hurried in the living room. “Pi! Sho has brought his boyfriend!”  
  
“Is he always like that?” Nino asked frowning a bit.  
  
“He’s a good guy! Trust me!”  
  
“I know that he’s… he’s your friend…”   
  
Sho felt his heart beating faster. Lately, he would also be complimented. Perhaps not in the direct way he would compliment Nino himself but he still was and he couldn’t help but feel happy; genuinely happy.  
  
Yamapi followed Toma and they all sat on the sofa. They had ordered sushi. After the first hour, Sho found himself relaxing, feeling that Nino wasn’t stiff anymore. He knew his boyfriend wasn’t a person who easily opened up to people. Toma had got his message and didn’t bombarded him with questions. In the contrary, he had decided to narrate the most embarrassing moments of his life. He had tried to stop him but everyone knew it was only a pretense; his laughs showed that he had fun, perhaps because he could hear the surprised gasps and small giggles coming from his side.   
  
What he hadn’t noticed though was the way Nino was staring at him all this time, his gaze analyzing, as if he was looking at him for the first time. This had happened during their first dates and now, surrounded as he was by his childhood friends.  
  
Nino could see the way Sho would laugh out loud clapping his hands, the way his eyes would bulge if he heard something weird; he was a different Sho and Nino found himself smiling. He was shining and he thought he had never found him more attractive. Their eyes met; _his_ stare captivating… it didn’t last for more than a few seconds. The story was about a mischief of his during elementary school, if Nino had understood correctly. He didn’t care at the moment. His heart was beating fast, faster than ever… in a rhythm he thought it belonged to someone else… he wanted to cry, attack him right there, kiss him fiercely… His heart was beating faster again.  
  
“Kazu?” Sho asked tilting his head with a smile as his hand came to caress feather-like his cheek. “Are you feeling ok?”  
  
“I love you…”  
  
Sho froze not wanting to believe what he had just heard.   
  
His friends as if they could read the atmosphere went to the kitchen, leaving them on their own.  
  
“Ka… Kazu?” he asked with a trembling voice.  
  
Nino moved closer to him, his chest moving up and down from nervousness, his mouth dry. “I… I love you, Sho…” Sho said nothing. He just crushed Nino against him, hugging him tightly. “Wrong timing though…” he mumbled before he let out a nervous laugh.  
  
“It could never be wrong timing… Not for this… not for this, Kazu…”  
  
Nino could tell that his boyfriend was trying with difficulty not to burst into sobs. “I guess a part of me always did. I wanted you to know my heart beats fast, faster than ever… it does so when I see you shining like this… I wanted to tell you…”  
  
“I love you, Kazu… I love you so much!”  
  
***    
  
_Ohno Satoshi’s wedding day…_  
  
  
Sho looked at his boyfriend as the latter stood at the side of the man who had captured his heart for so many years. It had been a surprise when Nino had told him that he wanted to fulfill the other’s wish and become his best man. He had mixed emotions. A part of him felt pride. His boyfriend was strong and didn’t want to run away or hide forever. In order to let something behind, people have to confront with it and that was what Nino did. He would hold his hand tightly, as if seeking for that reassurance he could only get from him and Sho would hold him the way he needed it. He would always be with him... no matter what.  
  
Another part of him though felt fear; he was only human after all. He could see that Nino was having mixed feelings; this wedding would leave him with a bittersweet taste. Ohno Satoshi would always be his unrequited… his unfulfilled love… Sho’s heart was beating faster… should he feel threatened? Not because Nino would play with his feelings but because they were stronger than him. He tried to focus on the words Nino had whispered in his ear before he went to stand up by the groom but no matter what his heart was still beating in a crazy rhythm in his chest, his gaze falling on his lap. This was the biggest test for them and he refused to imagine a future without Nino. He was the love of his life… _What if…?_ he started thinking frowning, his hands nervously holding his knees when he looked up again and saw that he had turned his gaze towards him to give him reassurance, to tell him that he was with _him_.   
  
His eyes were sparkling... with that kind of sparkle they always had when he told him those special three words. Sho smiled, gaining an equal smile from Nino. It told him that Nino loved him, _truly_ loved him and only him and that was everything that Sho needed. Ninomiya Kazunari truly loved him…  
  
  
  
THE END

 

 

 

A.N. Sooo minna here's the Sakumiya story many of you asked for! ^_^ It turned out to be the longest OS I've ever written and hope it met your expectations! ^^" I'm not very familiar with this pairing so I admit I feel nervous. I tried to show Sho's POV in all the parts somehow described in Tomodachi and then show both of them in the rest. I hope I managed to portray their thoughts and feelings well... ><

 

I really hope you enjoyed it and as always your comments are <333!!!

 

 

 

See you soon,  
Andy ^_^

 

 

 


End file.
